Eve/I Know It's Over
Recently I was holidayifying my website
and couldn't resist creating my own Christmas version
of the cover for I Know It's Over. The book starts
on Christmas Eve, when Sasha drops by to break the news
to Nick, and takes place mostly over the holidays so
when the season rolls around I can't help but think
about him. I actually wrote many of the Christmas scenes
during the season several years back and it still seems
a little unreal to me that the book's now out in the
If you haven't read the novel yet this is
how Nick's Christmas Eve goes:
Sasha lay spread across my bed, I felt like the world
had changed. She was wearing cutoff jean shorts and a
plain white T-shirt, not the tiny, cropped kind lots of
girls wearSasha never wears that kind of stuff.
"So it has to be my rules," she repeated, propping
her head up and peering steadily into my eyes. I stared
at her long, tan legs and thought: Don't screw this up
rules," I agreed, and I didn't screw it up, not then
anyway. We went on like that for nearly five months, stretching
her rules, rewriting them together, until she told me
we were getting too serious, that I was too much of a
distraction and she had her whole future to think about.
want to worry about school," she said, crossing her
arms and frowning like only Sasha canlike the world
was coming to an end. "Not about trying to get on
I know she was wrong about the world, thougheither
wrong or earlybecause I can live without Sasha.
The past month has proven that. But I don't know how to
deal with what she's telling me now.
something," she says urgently, grabbing my arm and
squeezing hard. "Don't do this to me, Nick."
glance up the driveway towards my house, at the icicle
lights everyone but my mom continually forgets to switch
on, and wrench my arm away. Dad will be here to pick me
up in less than an hour. Christmas at his place with Bridgettethat
was my big problem until thirty seconds ago.
Sasha repeats. Snow is falling on her hair and she's wearing
the leather gloves her mom bought her at the end of October.
She still looks beautiful to me, or at least I know she
would if I could feel anything.
run a hand through my snow-crowned hair and say,"This
has to be a mistake." It's what everybody says and
now I know why.
you think I checked?" Her hands close into fists.
"You think I'd come over here to tell you if I didn't
know for sure?"
don't know what you'd do, Sasha." I squint in her
direction. The sky is filled with white as bright as sunshine.
"I don't know you anymore, remember?"
laughs like she hates me. She turns in the direction of
the road and stands there, motionless. She's prepared
to wait, to become some kind of ice princess at the edge
of my lawn. Not a nice fairy talethe pregnant ex-girlfriendbut
then I guess most of them aren't. Not in the beginning
anyway. I glance at the dark hair spilling down the back
of Sasha's coat and shiver. My heart stopped beating at
the beginning of this conversation.
There's also an interview with me newly up at Teens
Read Too and sometime early in the new year I'll unveil
the brand new official paperback cover of I Know It's
But back to Christmas Eve...sometimes
the holidays are great and sometimes not so much,
for one reason or another. The pressure to be cheerful
can be intense; it can seem as though there's no place
to hide and just feel whatever it is you're truly feeling.
If that's you this year I hope you can find some peace
and quiet until it all blows over. Financially this
year has proved to be a hard one for lots of people
and hopefully those of us who can give will push
a little deeper into our pockets and be supportive in
other ways small and large.
If you're like me, you can get needlessly
cranky waiting in long mall lines or getting stuck behind
the slowest possible shopper at the supermarket when
all you want to do is grab the peanut butter from the
shelf behind her/him so you can chuck it into your cart
and get the heck out of there. And you may notice that
other folks, possibly also in a hurry to grab their
peanut butter, aren't always as polite as they could
be. Sometimes they're downright rude and scowly, which
is no fun but at times like that I try to remember that
I have no idea what anybody I encounter might be going
through in their life. They could have lost someone
close to them, been downsized or otherwise be going
through tough times. Unfortunately, lots and lots of
people are going through tough times these days and
I know I, for one, need to remember that and be patient
and kind. Not just during the holiday season, of course,
but on a day to day basis. That's what this holiday
is really all about anyway, right?
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