Pink
Box/Blue Box:
or
Skipping Double Dutch With a Y Chromosome
“When I was born, they looked at me and said,
'What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong
boy.'
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
'What a good girl, what a a smart girl, what a pretty
girl.'
We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take
our first breath.”
I have to admit I cringe a little every
time someone says, "It's a girl thing" or
"It's a guy thing." Unless we're talking about
menstruation or prostate glands, the phrase feels like
a claustrophobic generalization, one of those subtle
little things that help keep people hemmed inside pink
or blue boxes. And then there are the articles that
profess to tell us "What Men/Women Want."
Huh? *All* of them? Is humanity really that easily pegged?
Certainly the advertising industry and its clients are
happy to define us in this ridiculously simplistic XX
and XY way. If they can convince us who we are, then
they can also convince us what we need in order
to be that man or woman. Ka-ching!
But that division—manly things, female
things—is a fiction. There are women and girls
who prefer pursuits (careers, hobbies) that have traditionally
been considered male and vice-versa. Girls can be tough.
Guys can be sensitive. Girls can be techies and guys
can be fashionistas. Girls can be competitive and guys
can be nurturing. It should go without saying, right?
But as a society we're still hung up on old ideas. We're
living in a time that likes to think of itself as progressive
but still largely defines people
in terms of pink and blue. Hell,
it was practically just yesterday (and no doubt there
are people who still believe this) that society believed
boys were naturally better at math than girls. Who
knows how many women have been persuaded that they likely
won't succeed at math oriented careers because of these
ideas? And how many men have avoided more 'feminine'
careers because of attitudes evidenced in the Nike
ad on the right (printed in the latest issue of
CMYK magazine)?
Yep, that's right. It actually says “raise
a champion” (not a loser ballet dancer son!). Heaven
forbid if on top of raising a ballet dancer son, your
daughter becomes an auto mechanic! How would you ever
live down the double whammy shame?
But thankfully there are people out there
who see through the whole gender as binary pretense
and have the guts to be themselves, even when that means
facing down social pressure and/or bullying.
Thanks to Feministing,
for pointing me in the direction of this New
York Times article on fifth grader double dutch
competitor ZeAndre Orr.
ZeAndre was often harassed at his Brooklyn
school for joining the Jazzy Jumpers team ("At
any given practice, there can be as many as 60 jumpers.
Of those, only two are boys.") and was even kicked
down the stairs on one occasion. Even his mother's initial
reaction to ZeAndre joining the team was, “Oh,
no, Double Dutch is for girls!”
However, ZeAndre wasn't easily dissuaded.
Last month he performed at the Holiday Classic Double
Dutch Competition at the Apollo Theater. Holding his
trophies in the lobby afterwards, a beaming ZeAndre
said: “This was my time to shine.”
ZeAndre's story reminded me of a Shameless
Magazine article by sixteen-year-old Trevor Dunseith
in which Trevor discusses the common (incorrect) assumption
that he's gay because he happens to like knitting, the
colour pink and isn't a sports fan. It also reminded
me of nine year old Nova
Scotia girl Lydia Houck who sought to attend a boys-only
summer day camp which included activities like fishing,
hiking and golfing (meanwhile the only camp created
specifically for girls was called "Glamorous Girls"
and featured spa visits, manicures and pedicures).
Thanks to ZeAndre, Lydia, Trevor, and
the family and friends who support them in their efforts
to show their authentic selves to the world. You all
make it that much easier for other young people to do
the same.
Following their example, together we can
strive to create a society where happiness, health and
having respect for others is paramount—and labels
and constraining expectations (whether they be based
on gender, race, sexual orientation etc.) can be relegated
to the past.
Brooklyn's Jazzy Jumpers:
***Update***
According to CMYK’s publisher, Curtis
Clarkson, the "Raise a champion" ad isn't
actually Nike's. “The 'advertisement' is actually
the work of an art design student.” Nike had no
part in its creation. Read more details here.
Pink
Box/Blue Box:
people
in terms of pink and blue. 
